i hate the fact that everytime i watch a show, i imagine myself to be that girl. if she just broke up. i feel like i just broke up. if she just gave her baby away for adoption. i feel like i just lost a part of me. well. unless she starts making out with her boyfriend then i just feel sad that he's not here. hahahaha.

i don't think this part of me will ever change. that i miss you so much till i would wait aimlessly and pointlessly online for you to come online. i know you said that you were busy. and i even know that your presentation is tmr and you need to do a lot a lot more. but. call it foolish love or hope or whatever you want to call it. i don't think i would just. sleep without trying to wait up for you. because i miss you and that's what i do when i miss you. and it doesn't help that it's late in the night. and i'm all emo. hahahaa.

and i just spent 6 mths apart from you. then spend 2 weeks with you. only to have you taken away from me for a week. before 3mths with you again.

i was wrong mark. your situation is worse. 6mths apart gives you enough time to numb yourself from this. whereas. to spend a few days together then apart then together again. would just make my heart stop beating. (and make me stay up late.)

and it doesn't help that i'm quarantined at home and i can't get out of the house. not even to suntan. not even to buy banmian. not even to collect dvds from di. which by the way i'm too scared of crying to watch.

i need to cry. with you.