you know how. when after ppl have a small tiff. someone leaves the house to take a breather. the other stays at home, sits on the couch and just. thinks. and after an hour or two, that someone comes home. sits on that very same couch. talks it through. they both apologise. they hug, kiss, and cuddle together and watch tv. falling asleep in each others arms.

my day ends at talking it through and apologising. it's during these times that i miss you the most. i know it's just physical distance. but well. it's just different. there are no words to explain. it's just. that constant longing that izzie was talking about. it doesn't come in waves. but it's constant.

i dunno where i find my courage and strength from. God probably miraculously blessed me with abundance. i don't think i would have expected myself to last through something like this.

on an entirely different note. why do they make us go through this. where friendships are stretched. ppl take sides. feelings are hurt. wait. i take that back. i'm not asking why these things happen. but. i dunno. i just. dun like the feeling of iffy friendships. where you know that you've hurt someone. and there's nothing that you can do to make it better. even saying hi would make things worse. i know that it's not me. whatever. i still feel the hurt. i still feel the change. maybe i'm being oversensitive. but. it's me. and i say that i'm feeling the pain.

i pray that things will still be normal. friends will stay friends. all the way till we graduate. that. would be such a beautiful sight.

and i still miss you.