it breaks my heart knowing that you would do this. why? to feel like you didn't spend your time in vain? to gain that little bit of experience? is all this worth it. even if you become the richest person in the world. or the smartest doctor there is. what use is it if you got there not based on your own effort. (of course the 'effort' part can be debatable.) sigh.

it really really breaks and pains my heart that these people are my friends. ppl who i know. ppl who i care about. do i know the real you? how could you do this. i make it out like it's a big thing. i think that it is. i feel like my friendship is being used. maybe i feel this way cuz i know you guys. if i were an outsider, it would be perfectly logical. but you're my friend. does that count for nothing? maybe it really does count for nothing.

going against other people's wishes? yes. they didn't know. but what does your conscience tell you? what if someone did that to you. would it then be justified as 'learning for the greater good'? i really don't think so.

i'm disappointed to the extent that i dun even know what to do. i despise myself for being in this profession that everyone thinks is morally right. and yet. sigh. thank God there are people out there who stand up for what's right. and i pray really really hard that these few people will make a difference. and their voices will be heard. that this is WRONG.

i know posting this up bares quite a bit of consequence. being an open blog and all. but well. it's my thoughts. and i am honestly hurt and disappointed. i'm sorry if this hurt you. or i was being blunt.

but it really breaks my heart. it really really does.