today. i had a flurry of feelings.

i felt inadequate. cuz of mahjong.
i felt fat. cuz of reflections.
i felt compassion. cuz of poor kids.
i felt passion&drive. cuz i could do something.
i felt unfilial. cuz i made mum stay up.
i felt irresponsible. cuz i should have left earlier.
i felt pampered. cuz i'm so protected.
i felt blessed. cuz i'm spared another viva.

but most of all.

i felt alone. cuz of mrt trains.

this is wat travelling alone at night does to me. crappy shit. but i think. thinking is good. space is good. but. not too much la. will end up eating myself. and killing myself. and crying myself dry. and NO i'm not crying now. though. i almost did when josh groban was singing. made me feel like. yes. this is wat i'm studying for. this is wat i've been slogging for. that's where i wanna be. that's who i'm going to help.

keep the fire burning.