say i love you to one. then i turn around and snap at another. wth is the rationale of that. gosh.

i wish you'd see the pain and the tears. everyone says they don't care anymore. but deep down they do. they really do. well. at least i know i do. once you form a bond with someone...how could you ever brush that someone aside and say i really don't care what happens to you. amidst all the quarrels and snaps and arguments. blame it on short term memory if you must. excuses really only go that far.

god really placed you in my life to stretch my patience. and it really sucks to say that i'm only obeying you and listening to you because i love god and i wanna do what he says. it just really sucks.

and to keep this in me and perhaps let it go to God...hurts like shit. well. it is the process of polishing and refining...