today's just been. oh crap it. i'm sick of blogging about how each day went. quite meaningless really.

facade. everything's such a facade. manz i dunno anymore. pretending and convincing yourself that tat's the real you. and that's what the real you is feeling and thinking about. and you do such a great job at convincing that you don't even know what's real anymore. but soon that pretense would be an integral part of you. it's just way weird.

with the big fake smiles and stupid lies/when deep inside you're bleeding

just feel so heavy-hearted suddenly. i don't know why. but suddenly. words are scarely enough to describe how i feel. it's one of those days when i just feel like sitting on a swing. with my friends all around me. but none of them paying attention to me. and just one friend sitting on the swing beside me. weird. but surreal feeling.

am i really glad in 25? do i really need to try to fit in? does it matter?